1 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:36,080 www.titlovi.com 2 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,240 THE FUNNIEST SHOW ON EARTH 3 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:07,600 Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to introduce to you 4 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:12,000 the first color 3-D film made in Italy. 5 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,120 Three-dimensional cinema, like all respected innovations, 6 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,200 has its supporters and its detractors. 7 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:21,400 We believe we shouldn't give up the old system, 8 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,600 even if the new one offers us the opportunity 9 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:27,040 to toss a flower to a beautiful lady 10 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,640 or to splash that spectator 11 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:36,000 watching with an incredulous and slightly obnoxious air. 12 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,440 Even without glasses! 13 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:44,120 We can have excellent results with no discomfort, 14 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,320 featuring solid, stimulating imagery. 15 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,840 Take, for example, these girls. 16 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,680 Come on, ladies! 17 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:59,520 They look ready to participate in one of the many beauty contests. 18 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,080 What do you think? 19 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:08,560 Do they not seem three-dimensional enough? 20 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,960 Well, hold your opinions till the end. 21 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:19,600 Our story takes place in the fascinating world of the circus. 22 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,640 The crowds who frequent these shows 23 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,080 are made up of people from every walk of life, of all ages. 24 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,000 Of course, women go to complain about the tigers... 25 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,640 men go to laugh with the clowns... 26 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,360 children go to watch the dancers. 27 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,800 Between shows, the crowds visit Luna Park, 28 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:43,360 whose great attraction is the wax museum. 29 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,440 And here, as you can see for yourself, 30 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,200 you really find folks in every color. 31 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,120 Here is a Black woman showing 32 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,840 white men dressed in blue 33 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,720 the red and yellow statues! 34 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,520 The boss of the circus, like all bosses, 35 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,880 is the bully type, 36 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,240 an authoritarian and an exhibitionist, 37 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,000 and he imposes on all his employees 38 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:15,720 the harsh rules everyone has to live by. 39 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:20,520 Indeed, Tania, the beautiful and reckless acrobat 40 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,560 who performs dangerous feats every evening, 41 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:28,280 also serves humbly as the attendant at the "Turk's Head" attraction. 42 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,720 Pay attention now! This is Karl. 43 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,880 When he hasn't been drinking, he is a lion tamer. 44 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,240 When he's drunk, his wife steps in, 45 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,080 the charming May, 46 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,880 who is used to treating animals as if they were men, 47 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,360 and treating men like animals. 48 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,800 And that's why her husband tries to forget it, 49 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,680 thinking instead of Dorothy, the playmaker, 50 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,320 who in addition to everything else also rides and sings. 51 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:01,200 The show is the only real concern of the circus dwellers. 52 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,560 But look-- look at this gentleman. 53 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,320 It is Tottons. 54 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,880 Tottons has another concern: 55 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:14,560 He is hiding a dark and terrible secret. 56 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:19,320 The circus life is simple and quiet. 57 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:23,240 Disturbing this tranquility is the arrival of a certain character. 58 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:24,760 Here he is! Here he is! 59 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,400 A character you will know at once! 60 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,760 Our story really begins with his arrival. 61 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,800 And since he is coming, I am going! 62 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,800 May, Tania, Dorothy! 63 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,480 - Bastian is here! - Bastian? 64 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,120 Bastian! Oh, Bastian! 65 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,800 Do you remember that wonderful night in Paris... 66 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,000 [speaking French] 67 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,360 - Oui, oui, oui. - My darling! 68 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,040 Do you remember that exciting night in Liverpool? 69 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:16,520 Yes, yes. 70 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,360 And our wonderful night in Munich? 71 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:20,680 Jawohl. 72 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,240 And our unforgettable passion in Stockholm? 73 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,360 Say, Mark, why is Tottons always made up? 74 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,280 Listen, Bastian, there's three reasons: 75 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,160 first, he has a secret; 76 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,800 second, it's none of your business; 77 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:42,280 and third, if all makeup is removed from this fascinating face, 78 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,560 women might faint-- maybe even die from a stroke! 79 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,360 Is that clear? Do you understand, Bastian? 80 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,120 Enough is enough! 81 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,600 We need to keep our minds on the show. Now go! 82 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:02,720 - Tottons? - Eh? 83 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,760 - Circus men have to do it all. - I know. 84 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,120 This is the excuse you use to make me clean the ring, 85 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,720 make me wash the laundry, and make me brush the elephants' teeth. 86 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,480 Ah... that's not enough. 87 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,640 - I love May. - Well, tell her yourself! 88 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:23,600 - No... you have to go in there. - Not even for a dream! 89 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,760 I don't want anything to do with women! 90 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,840 Better I should look after the giraffes. 91 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:29,720 Coward! 92 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,280 Do you have sawdust in your veins? 93 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:33,600 Do you understand? 94 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,360 You don't have to watch, not even from a distance. 95 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,600 - Why? - He prefers my great beauty. 96 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,040 But you look like a broomstick disguised as a woman! 97 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,280 Me, a broomstick?! 98 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,720 Girls, girls! What's going on? Why are you fighting? 99 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,920 - What's going on? - Come on, Tottons. 100 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,400 Which of us is the most beautiful? 101 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,160 Which of you two is the most beautiful? 102 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,840 Well... at a glance... you're both awfully cute. 103 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,480 My goodness. Cross an eye... 104 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,160 and she is a bit thinner. 105 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,400 - Yes, but not by much. - Am I so scrawny? 106 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,080 Tell the truth: Am I really that skinny? Look! 107 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,160 - Am I skinny? - Don't look! 108 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,520 - Tell me the truth! Come on, speak! - Yes. 109 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,120 Do I look like a broomstick in disguise? 110 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:22,080 My dear, if all broomsticks were like you, I would switch jobs immediately! 111 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,400 Do you know what I would do? Start sweeping! 112 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,520 But she looks like a hen! 113 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,520 A hen? Did you say hen? 114 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,840 This is why I feel such a deep physical attraction-- archaeological, even! 115 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,280 - Do you see this stuffed owl? -Stuffed owl! 116 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,600 Look at me! 117 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,040 - What are you saying? - And what am I supposed to say? 118 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,320 This is the greatest show on earth! 119 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,880 That said, I am an owl-- a stuffed owl! 120 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,520 Look at me! Are these made of straw? 121 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:54,480 Listen, you're not made of straw, but, damn it, I am not made of wood! 122 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:56,360 Here. 123 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,880 Suppose you were Paris. Who would you give the apple to? 124 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,200 Who should I give it to? 125 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,120 - To me! - To me! 126 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:07,240 What a horned dilemma. In fact, it is bi-horned... there are two! 127 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,520 Who should I give it to? 128 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,000 - To me! - To me! 129 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,400 I would not like you, modern Paris. 130 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,960 I would not want to start a new Trojan War. 131 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,040 I beg your pardon! How dare you look in here, 132 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:24,160 in a private caravan, where two women stand half-clothed! 133 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,000 Turn around! But look a bit. 134 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,080 But look a bit! 135 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,480 Come on girls, get dressed. Let's go. 136 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,880 Tottons, your judgment doesn't interest me. 137 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,080 Oh, yeah? Don't you care? 138 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,280 Bastian's opinion counts for me. You get it? 139 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,440 And why did you come here? 140 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:53,000 - Marco, the boss, sent me. - And what does he want? 141 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,440 What does he want? That one? 142 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,440 - You know what he wants! - No. 143 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,240 No? I tell you. 144 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,600 - He says he's in love with you. - With me? 145 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:05,040 He says he would put his heart at your feet. 146 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,280 - Believe it if you like. - I'm not stupid. 147 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,880 Good for you, you're not stupid! 148 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,320 Because if you only knew what he wants to do with you... 149 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,640 - What? - Don't you know? I'll tell you. 150 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:17,800 Hold the dog. 151 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,720 He would like to hug you close, close-- like this! 152 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,240 Close-- close, like this! 153 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,600 - But do you understand? - Just let him try! 154 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,320 You're right, he may try! 155 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,760 And not only that, while he holds you close like this, 156 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,440 he would also like to kiss you. 157 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,720 A kiss? 158 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,400 Just one kiss... if only he could be satisfied with just one kiss! 159 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:39,680 One million, one billion, 325, 385! 160 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,520 - Just let him try! - He just may try! 161 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:47,240 That man is a sensual scoundrel, also capable of... 162 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,800 Ay, ay, ay, ay. 163 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,920 I get it. Come. 164 00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:02,080 I think you should give in to the boss's advances. 165 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,320 The boss is actually a decent person. 166 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,560 He's a gentleman, a gentleman, I tell you! 167 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,120 You must love him with your heart, 168 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,880 with... your spleen, your liver, your guts! 169 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,640 Do you understand? You owe him. You have to attract him. 170 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,000 You have to hold him tight in your arms! 171 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,800 Hold him tight! 172 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,800 You have to give him a big kiss here on the forehead, like this. 173 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,400 A nice big kiss-- first squeeze him, and then... pow! 174 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,520 A kiss here. And if he's not happy with one, 175 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,640 you give him two, three, four... endlessly! 176 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,760 As long as you kill him with kisses! 177 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,760 Boss, things are pretty bad at the fair. 178 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,480 The "Turk's Head" is broken. The patrons always win. 179 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,760 I'm ruined! 180 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,600 This has to be fixed now! 181 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,520 - Impossible. - Tottons! 182 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,240 Wait, I have an idea... go away! 183 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:54,880 What is it? 184 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,160 - Clean your face. - Not even for a dream! 185 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,880 - I can't, I have a secret. - What secret? 186 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,520 You have to be the "Turk's Head." I order you! 187 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,480 The Turk? Not even for an idea! 188 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,520 That's like an avalanche of balls in the face. 189 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,400 I shouldn't be surprised if they kill me! 190 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,200 Not even if... 191 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,120 - Not even if I beg you, Tottons? - No! 192 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,680 - Tottons! - No! 193 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:24,640 Yes. 194 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:29,600 With a similar piece of ottoman, I'll play the Turk! 195 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:32,720 Go with him. From the back. But clean his face! 196 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,400 What are you doing, stupid! 197 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,440 Close! 198 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,120 Come on, let's go! 199 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,240 Calm down, here I am. 200 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,360 But what have you got, sawdust in your veins? 201 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,800 Enough with the sawdust! 202 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,240 Stop and listen! 203 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,880 - When they hit you... - They gave me a lump right here! 204 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:08,000 No! The balls are very light. Listen. 205 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,400 - Read. - I know. 206 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,240 But balls always are. 207 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,520 When they hit you, show deference and say, "Allah! Allah!" 208 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,400 - And when they don't hit me? - Then say, "Salam, Salam." 209 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,000 When they hit me, "Allah, Allah," and when they don't hit me-- 210 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,280 I don't remember! 211 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,400 - "Salam." - Ah, yeah. 212 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,120 - Yes, that's right. - And listen. 213 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,480 You have to try not to get hit high more than twice 214 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:29,600 because with three balls, they win the prize. 215 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,400 So, never more than twice say "Allah!" 216 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,640 - If they hit me three times? - I don't do charity! 217 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,800 Just an honest cheat. 218 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,720 I'm the one who always stands to lose. 219 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,640 Open! Open! 220 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,280 What happens if you hit the Turk? 221 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,320 If you hit it, it says, "Allah." If not, "Salam." 222 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,960 - Good. - Allah. 223 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,360 - Allah. - Now I'll take one. 224 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,960 What are you doing? 225 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,280 Get outta here! 226 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,040 How do I win this thing? 227 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,360 We need to make him say "Allah" three times. 228 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,920 - Allah! - No-- say "Salam"! 229 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,120 But what salam? I say Allah! 230 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,400 Allah! Allah! 231 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:38,720 Allah, Allah, Allah! Come on, come on! 232 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,480 The balls are out. The balls, quick! 233 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:47,960 - That's a man. - Come on here. 234 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,240 Allah! Allah! 235 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:51,560 Now I'll fix you! 236 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,320 Allah, Allah! 237 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,960 Guys, the Turk is leaving! 238 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,400 What? He's leaving? 239 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,480 Wait just a minute! 240 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,880 Hey, Mark. Do you want me to help you? 241 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,880 No, don't think about me. 242 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,320 Think about the show. 243 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,560 Mark, right now you really are 244 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:45,680 the dirtiest ringmaster in the world! 245 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,480 Attention! Our beautiful animal tamer May 246 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,960 will now present a group of elephants. 247 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,360 May? 248 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,400 Should I announce the lion routine? 249 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,480 No, Karl is still not well. He will do the show later tonight. 250 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,040 Always the same thing! 251 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:45,520 Attention! Joe Smith will try a very difficult exercise-- 252 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,440 a jump with triple pirouette on the return. 253 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,160 Attention! Attention! 254 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:06,680 The same feat will be attempted by Cesare Togni. 255 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:46,480 And now we bring you the most sensational item in our show! 256 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,480 Tania and Bastian on the trapeze-- without a net! 257 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:53,720 A swallow may fall, but Bastian will never fall from his trapeze 200 feet up! 258 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,440 Hey, Mark, is it true Bastian defies death every night with this show? 259 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,840 Wait, you'll see up there. 260 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,240 Tania and Bastian! 261 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,960 Bastian, what's going on? Get up. 262 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,240 Quick, the finale! Damn! 263 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,920 Get up, people are watching you. 264 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,080 I can't walk, my right arm hurts. 265 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,040 - Then walk with the left arm! - Help me get out. 266 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,360 I don't want the audience to notice. 267 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,160 I want to leave the ring laughing. 268 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,760 - Up. - Ouch! 269 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,560 It's over for me now. 270 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,760 - I can't work anymore! - No, calm down. 271 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,240 Ouch. 272 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,320 - Easy. Put this on. - Come here! 273 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,960 - What should I do now? - Get dressed! 274 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,200 Here, go sell these balloons, go! 275 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,360 - And go. - Balloons! 276 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,800 - Balloons! - Yep. 277 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,320 Calm down, gentlemen. Nothing happened. 278 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,760 The acrobat is not seriously injured. 279 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,600 The show must go on! 280 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:43,480 The beautiful Dorothy will sing "Today It's My Turn, Tomorrow It's Yours." 281 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,120 d From a mountain in bloom d 282 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,280 d Rosina descends d 283 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,880 d On the arm of a boy who goes swearing of love d 284 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,400 d And holds her to his heart d 285 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:32,040 d For those who sigh in vain d 286 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:35,120 d Watching them pass d 287 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:39,800 d The couple goes far, happy to dream d 288 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,480 d And starting to sing d 289 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:47,040 d Today it's my turn, tomorrow it's your turn d 290 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:50,760 d There is a mystery in destiny d 291 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,640 d Luck is unknown-- how it comes, how it goes d 292 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,440 d Whence does it come, where does it go d 293 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,080 d Don't despair... d 294 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,280 Mama! 295 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:05,760 d Love that he wants to love you d 296 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,840 d That love is not known... d 297 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:08,920 My son. 298 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,680 Mama, I am sorry I brought you such pain. 299 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,880 But mothers are destined to suffer, my son. 300 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,440 Our lot is to bear any pain in silence. 301 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,120 Watch it, you! 302 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:22,400 What did he do to you? 303 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,200 What did he do to me? Parrot! 304 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,240 For three hours now, he's been behaving like a masher. 305 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,520 You think I'm that kind of woman? No, I'm this kind! 306 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,440 How dear you are. 307 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,040 It really is true-- you only have one mama. 308 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,800 What are you insinuating? There's only one dad too! 309 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,520 Cheeky little devil! 310 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,600 What, you want to have a listen? 311 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,600 This is a private conversation. Watch the show. 312 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,480 Mama... 313 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,160 - What are the police up to? - Investigating. 314 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,160 What bad habits these police have. 315 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,400 You can't kill anybody these days without an immediate investigation. 316 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,720 They were at the house and found everything. 317 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,560 Everything? Everything, everything, everything? 318 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:03,480 Everything, everything, everything! 319 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,120 Even that pair of suspenders we never could find? 320 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,160 No, not those! 321 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,120 But they did find the bones in the garden. 322 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,240 My son, be careful when you kill someone. 323 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,800 Watch where you put the bones, so they cannot be found. 324 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:16,760 Mama, don't you worry. 325 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:20,360 I know where I put the bones when I kill. 326 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:24,280 Listen, dear Mama, I have to leave you. Duty calls. 327 00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:25,600 - Ciao. - Ciao. 328 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:30,000 Go, my son. I bless every drop of milk I gave you. 329 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,040 It wasn't much, I know. 330 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,600 But, you know, I was giving it to him with water. 331 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,160 d But you can have it, if you know where to look d 332 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,560 Ciao, Mama! 333 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,720 - Let's pull them up. - You said it. 334 00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:48,240 d Today it's my turn, tomorrow it's your turn d 335 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:52,120 d There is a mystery in destiny d 336 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,760 d Luck is unknown-- how it comes, how it goes d 337 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,760 What a son! 338 00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:08,080 - Come on, come on! - Come on! 339 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,800 Who the heck is hauling me up? 340 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,040 Where's my helmet? 341 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:18,200 Talk about sweeping me off my feet! I'm in trouble! 342 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,720 What a phenomenon. 343 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,720 Let's turn him loose! 344 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,640 What a butt! 345 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:46,440 Ciao, Mama! 346 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,120 Ouch! 347 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,200 Ciao, Mama! 348 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:52,360 Hey! 349 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,600 - Are you the owner of the circus? - No, I'm a ballerina. 350 00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,560 Now, listen, wise guy. 351 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,520 Is there somebody here harboring a big secret? 352 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:08,240 There are no secrets here. This is the most loyal show in the world. 353 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,000 I am from the federal police. 354 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,920 I'd like to check some prints. Do you mind? 355 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,160 By all means! Start with me! 356 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,480 Drop your paw. 357 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:23,760 Eh, no. 358 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,840 No. 359 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,200 - Listen, miss! - Are you talking to me? 360 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,360 Come here. This is serious business. 361 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,360 Raise your foot. 362 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:40,120 No. 363 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,160 - You come. - What do you want? 364 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,200 Do me the pleasure of raising your foot. 365 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,160 Hurry up, I need to change for the show. 366 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,200 I am hurrying. I have to check. 367 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,280 No. 368 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:33,840 Ah, it's you! 369 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,000 - It's me. - What were you doing down there? 370 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,600 - Why are you hiding? - Why am I hiding? 371 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:43,840 The police! 372 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:45,760 I'm being chased... 373 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:47,640 surrounded... 374 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:48,720 hunted. 375 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,960 Now I understand about the footprints. But why are they looking for you? 376 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,000 Why? 377 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,720 Because I have a secret. 378 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,720 A secret that, if it were to be revealed... 379 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,640 well, for heaven's sake, it would be ruinous! 380 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:06,400 It would be a disaster. 381 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,520 My pride, my dignity, my honor! 382 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,760 It would be the end! 383 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,640 The end! 384 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,160 It would be the... end... 385 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,040 - Who is it? - The police. 386 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,560 - I'm looking for a guy. - Hide. 387 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:37,640 Here I am! 388 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,280 - There is no one here. - That's impossible. 389 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:46,320 - I heard a man's voice! - There's a man in there? 390 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,160 Mark, you can't be jealous of my husband. 391 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:53,080 Ah, your husband! Is he already over his hangover? 392 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,040 I'd be really curious to see it. 393 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,880 Me too. May we enter, then? 394 00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,000 No! 395 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,400 Okay, we'll just wait here, then. 396 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:05,880 I'm here, I'm here. 397 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,000 Are you able to do the things my husband does? 398 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,080 What all does your husband do? 399 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,160 - Everything. - Yes! 400 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,760 - Everything, everything, everything? - Yes, everything. 401 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,240 Everything and more! But... 402 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,560 Good! 403 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:28,280 And now, a series of double flips over the backs of four camels! 404 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,120 Tania, it's your turn! 405 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,440 Excuse me, but what does this husband of May's do? 406 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:49,560 - The trainer. - He works... when he isn't drunk. 407 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,640 - Is he any good? - Who made the call? 408 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,760 He's been with us three years, and he still hasn't worked. 409 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,280 Come on, think about the show. 410 00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:58,120 Come on, let's go! 411 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:23,960 What I wouldn't give. 412 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,120 - What? - To do stuff like that. 413 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,600 But I guess I'm too indolent, 414 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:30,720 and I never seem to make up my mind. 415 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,480 Karl, come on. 416 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:59,880 Ah, finally, the famous trainer. 417 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:02,760 Let's go. 418 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,680 We'll see you and your husband in the ring. 419 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,880 - Come on, let's go. - But... 420 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,520 Listen here. He said, "in the ring." In the ring to do what? 421 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,480 You'll do the lion routine. 422 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,360 I told you, you'd be doing everything my husband does. 423 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,320 Hang on, there's been a misunderstanding. 424 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,480 Husbands don't normally put themselves in mortal danger! 425 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:28,360 Don't worry, these lions are tame. They are all my friends. 426 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,840 They may be your friends, but they are not my friends! Sorry! 427 00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,640 - They will become your friends. - Yeah, sure. 428 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,720 I can picture it: "Have a bite of me and let's be friends." 429 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,720 - Let's go. - Not to the lions, I'm not! 430 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,520 - Courage! - I'm not gonna do it! 431 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,720 - What, have you sawdust in your veins? - Damn the sawdust! 432 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,560 Come on, Karl, hustle the muscle! 433 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,680 Relax, man. 434 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,760 - Potato chips! - One moment. 435 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,080 Give me a bag. 436 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,160 Ladies and gentlemen, watch out! 437 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,440 You are about to witness the highlight of our program. 438 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:31,240 The intrepid Karl Hoffman will perform his famous routine, 439 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:32,880 an attraction unique in all the world: 440 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,280 a fight to the death against 18 hungry lions! 441 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:42,920 Orange soda! 442 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:46,240 Look, I don't feel like it. 443 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:47,920 - I don't feel like it! - Take courage. 444 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,280 I'm telling you, the lions are my friends. 445 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,400 And you can make them understand we're all friends here? 446 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:54,800 Of course, don't be afraid. 447 00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,000 I'll go as long as you're in the cage with me. 448 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:58,200 Okay, then. 449 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:00,320 Mark! 450 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,160 That's not May's husband! It's that idiot Tottons! 451 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,040 I'll take care of this. 452 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,040 Watch your step. 453 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,720 May? Give me your hand. Stick close. 454 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,240 - Come on, come on! - Listen a little... 455 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,840 - What should I do now? - Don't be afraid. 456 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:55,720 - Look them in the eye. - Yes. 457 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,360 I am looking them in the eye. 458 00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,760 They look at me too. And how they look at me! 459 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,760 But listen, is it true that they are all friends? 460 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:03,840 Yes. 461 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,480 Is any of them ever a bit of a stinker? 462 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,880 Help! I was right. You see that? 463 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,120 - That's a stinker! - Come on, come on. 464 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,280 - May, stick close. Give me your hand. - Courage. 465 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,960 Don't go away. 466 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,120 - The whip! - Yes, the whip. 467 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,880 - Whip it, throw it. - Wait. 468 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,440 Come on! Coward. 469 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,760 - Get up, go ahead. - I slipped. 470 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,120 May, stay close to me. 471 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,880 - May! - What are you doing? 472 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,240 Do you see how he looks at me? What should I do? 473 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,160 Here! 474 00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:46,680 You're nothing but a rascal. 475 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:53,880 Coward! 476 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,040 I'll teach you to be the lion, sail! 477 00:34:58,120 --> 00:34:59,520 Ugly beast! 478 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:13,200 He's my son. He has a mustache, but he is my son! 479 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:17,960 May! 480 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,200 Ay-yi-yi! 481 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,200 Go, go! 482 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,480 What do you want to do? Go back! 483 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:28,400 I'll break your head, you know? 484 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:34,600 Go make the bed! Go make the bed! 485 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:35,960 Don't react! 486 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:38,760 Go away! 487 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:40,960 I'm not afraid! 488 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,600 What would you like to do? Don't come forward! 489 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,160 Down! 490 00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:52,320 Go, go. Back! 491 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,320 What are you doing? Go away! 492 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,360 Go! 493 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,800 Leave, leave! 494 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,400 Everyone away! 495 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,200 Everyone away! 496 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,200 Everyone away! 497 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:33,640 You go away, away! 498 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:35,840 And you, what are you doing? What's the holdup? 499 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,280 Go! 500 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:40,640 Hustle! 501 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,920 Good heavens, a rat! 502 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,000 The whole family, even his father-- 503 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,600 he once saw a mouse and passed out. 504 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,800 When we found the poor fellow, he was already dead. 505 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:06,600 What's going on? 506 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,400 What's with all this applause? 507 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,120 It's the new lion tamer. 508 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,480 So that's why I woke up in his underwear! 509 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,480 What do I do now? What should I do? 510 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,080 Shoot yourself! 511 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:31,920 Karl, what is it? 512 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:39,280 Miss, here! 513 00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,000 Hey, young man, here. 514 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,920 - In front, yes. - What is it? 515 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:49,400 No. 516 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:57,520 I've got a hunch... 517 00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,800 Come here! Raise your foot. 518 00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:03,280 No. 519 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:09,720 Excuse me. 520 00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:12,960 Sorry. 521 00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,200 Wait for me here. 522 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:19,840 I'll be right back. 523 00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:30,160 Karl, is that you? 524 00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:32,280 No, it's not me. It's me instead. 525 00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,560 Tottons, what are you doing here? 526 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,320 I have a secret! 527 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,440 - What secret? - One of my usual secrets. 528 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,720 Tottons, tell the truth: You are here because you love me! 529 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,560 Yeah, what a fool! I love you. Sometimes I forget it. 530 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,600 - I forgot, give me a hug, a kiss. - No! 531 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,200 If you love me, you have to escape. 532 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,320 - I can't. - Why? 533 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,200 My superior strength holds me back. 534 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:53,480 - What strength? - What strength? 535 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:56,320 The public force! 536 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,240 - You have to escape. - I cannot. 537 00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,680 Karl will be here in a moment. He's in a terrible state. 538 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,240 - No one knows what he might do. - What can he do? 539 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,040 He makes me a mustache, he makes me another! 540 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,800 The third one has a twist in it! 541 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,320 Shhh! The strength... 542 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:14,080 - Dorothy! - It's Karl! 543 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,320 - Karl! - Where am I hiding? 544 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:18,360 - There is only one way out of here. - Yes. 545 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,720 Where can I...? If he finds me here, what a mess! 546 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,360 Mamma Mia! 547 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,200 - Oh, no, how do you do it? - Will you open up! 548 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,360 - How do you do it? - Wait up. Not below. 549 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:28,520 No, you don't have to do it! 550 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,400 - I got an idea! - Ah, yes? 551 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:31,720 - Put this on. - I understand. 552 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:33,160 - Don't move, eh! - No! 553 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,080 - Send him away now, huh? - What are you doing? 554 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,600 - I'm coming. - Do you want to open, yes or no? 555 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,640 - Don't enter Karl. - Why shouldn't I enter? 556 00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:44,640 - Let's go for a drink. - What a drink! 557 00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:46,720 - What you were doing? - Nothing, Karl. 558 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,720 Nothing? And why did you close the door? 559 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,120 I was afraid. 560 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,360 - Afraid of what? - Being alone. 561 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,440 I think there's someone else here. 562 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:57,680 But for heaven's sake! Look around, there's no one. 563 00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,680 There are only the mannequins. 564 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:01,360 There is absolutely nobody. 565 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,200 - You sure? - I'm sure! 566 00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,200 - Who is that? - A new one. 567 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,400 - They brought it this morning. - Yes, but who is it? 568 00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:09,120 It's the monster of London! 569 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,600 - Well, leave me alone. - No, Karl. 570 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,120 Go away! 571 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,760 - Don't send me away, let me stay here! - Leave me, go away! 572 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,560 - I want to stay here! - Leave me alone. 573 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:20,640 Get! 574 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:42,840 Monster of London, eh? 575 00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:45,960 So you would be the Monster of London. 576 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,520 The usual hallucinations, I... 577 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:59,600 Why are you looking at me like that? Come on! 578 00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,840 Tell me to my face what you think! 579 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:06,840 You! Fiend of Hanover, say it! I am a drunkard! 580 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,600 Pow! Take that! 581 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:11,600 You too, Beast of Dusseldorf. 582 00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,720 Say it, I'm a good-for-nothing! 583 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,160 Pow! Take that! 584 00:42:16,240 --> 00:42:17,960 And you too... pow! 585 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,400 No. 586 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,680 But why do I have to take it out on you? 587 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,920 Monster of London. 588 00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,240 The more I look at you, the more you pity me. 589 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,560 You, with that idiot face, 590 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,720 you made all the women fall in love... with you! 591 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,760 But in the end, they hanged you! 592 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,000 Soon I'll be a corpse too! 593 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,880 Here you go, six shots. 594 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:49,880 But one is enough for me. 595 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,040 Fiend of Hanover, take your hat off! 596 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,840 Soon there will be a dead man here! 597 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,640 Now to me. No... there is too much light. 598 00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:00,800 There! 599 00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,320 That's better. 600 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,080 And why are you looking at me? 601 00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:07,840 I have something for you too! 602 00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:11,080 Two hits: 603 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,800 one for me... and one for you. 604 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,520 I'll do the dress rehearsal with you. 605 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:23,160 But it's very simple, here. 606 00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:27,920 The revolver rests against the temple... like so. 607 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,840 Then you press slowly. 608 00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:37,600 I can almost hear the cold steel penetrating the brain, 609 00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:40,120 and feel the frost of death that follows! 610 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:41,880 But don't worry! 611 00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,440 The trigger is pulled, and it's all over! 612 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:48,920 After all, it's just a question of a squeeze. 613 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,320 So! 614 00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,760 One... two... 615 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,800 And no! 616 00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:57,800 No! 617 00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,440 I will never possess the courage! 618 00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:04,680 I will never have the strength! Never! 619 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:10,360 But why are you looking at me! 620 00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:13,400 Don't look at me! 621 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:19,800 They are finished. 622 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,000 But I have another revolver. 623 00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,560 And these are eight shots. 624 00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:29,280 One for me... and seven for you! 625 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:30,920 Yes! 626 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,960 But... first you have to drink. 627 00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,160 Drink! 628 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,000 Good. 629 00:44:43,240 --> 00:44:44,600 Do you want some too? 630 00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,560 But where did you get off to? 631 00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:49,840 Ah, there you are! 632 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,160 You have become a Chinese Mandarin, huh? 633 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,040 How? No? 634 00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:00,640 Oh, damn! 635 00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:02,520 These hallucinations! 636 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:05,720 And... where is he? 637 00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:07,400 Where did he go? 638 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:12,040 Ah, you have become a French revolutionary now, huh? 639 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,240 Monster of London, don't run away from me! 640 00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,480 Oh, no, your time has come! 641 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,520 But there is the devil! 642 00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:23,240 Again! Again! 643 00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:24,320 Ah! 644 00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:26,880 Ah! 645 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,560 This time you have become a missionary! 646 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,760 But I'll kill you anyway! 647 00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:34,400 You won't run away from me anymore! 648 00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,240 I'll kill you like a dog. 649 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,920 I won't open the door! Leave me alone, go away! 650 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,240 My dog-- my, how you've grown. 651 00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:06,720 But... what did you do? Did you kill him? 652 00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:10,240 No, for now I gave him a simple lesson. 653 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:12,600 Karl? 654 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,400 Karl! 655 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,480 May I examine your footprint? 656 00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,320 Of course! I've been anticipating it. 657 00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:24,240 Look, these are a bit tight. 658 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:26,240 Get more comfortable-- size 16. 659 00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:30,280 Ah, you are the man I was looking for! I've finally found you! 660 00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:31,840 Dear. 661 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:35,840 But why are you arresting him? 662 00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,640 He is a famous strangler. 663 00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:40,640 Shh! We do not advertise. 664 00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:44,240 If it were possible, I would prefer to remain incognito. 665 00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,120 But how can you know he did this? 666 00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,120 He has committed numerous crimes. 667 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,280 He strangled a Livorno woman! 668 00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:53,360 - Oh, my goodness! - Tottons, why did you choke her? 669 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:54,840 Because I liked it too much! 670 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,120 Well, yes... I not only strangled a Livorno woman, 671 00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:01,280 but, if you must know, I also strangled two Paduan women. 672 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,880 Mamma mia, a Livorno woman and two from Padua! 673 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:04,960 With all modesty. 674 00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:08,440 By the way, blondie, come here. 675 00:47:10,240 --> 00:47:11,680 What country are you from? 676 00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:13,480 - From Catanzaro. - Catanzaro? 677 00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,320 To me, these Norwegian women do not seem so impressive. 678 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,880 But you must have loved them madly if you were driven to kill them! 679 00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,760 - What was so special about them? - The breasts. 680 00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:22,960 The breasts?! 681 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:26,400 Not that I don't appreciate the thighs-- far from it! 682 00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:29,600 But I prefer the breasts... and the wings. 683 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,240 But women don't have wings! 684 00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:34,280 But what do women have to do with it! 685 00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,560 He's a chicken strangler. 686 00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:38,120 He's a chicken thief! 687 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,840 - Come on, come with me. - One moment! 688 00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:46,040 The show comes first. Tottons must stay here. 689 00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,360 No, come with me! You are better off in prison. 690 00:47:57,200 --> 00:47:59,760 You have to come with me! 691 00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:07,440 Stop, everyone! Calm! 692 00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:10,840 Two can quarrel, but the third wants his fun. 693 00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:12,560 Come on, girl! 694 00:48:14,720 --> 00:48:20,040 Now entering the ring, a remarkable ladies' hairdresser! 695 00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:25,920 Hello? 696 00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,400 May I come in? 697 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:30,880 Anybody? 698 00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:34,040 Oh, shopkeeper? 699 00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,920 Is anyone here? 700 00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:42,400 Sorry if there's someone because no one answers to tell me there's no one! 701 00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:44,320 Bonjour, monsieur! 702 00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:45,560 What a scare! 703 00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:48,840 Suddenly my heart missed a beat. 704 00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:50,200 I understand! 705 00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:52,040 - Good morning! - Good morning, sir. 706 00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,360 Lucio, ladies' hairdresser, at your disposal. 707 00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,120 Lucio? Who is Lucio? 708 00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,760 - It's me, sir. - Ah, yes? 709 00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:03,440 I was wrong, I'm so sorry. I have no business here. 710 00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:05,160 - How so? - Trust me, I know. 711 00:49:05,240 --> 00:49:07,240 What were you looking for? 712 00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:08,840 I'm looking for the shop where I'm supposed to work. 713 00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:10,920 - You've found it! - A hairdresser's shop? 714 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,880 - Where are you working? - Here, at the hairdresser's. 715 00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,960 Ah, oui, oui, oui, I get it. 716 00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:18,200 - Would you be the new worker? - Yes, sir! 717 00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:19,960 Well, let me get a look at you. 718 00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:23,240 - Turn around like this. - No, I mean... huh? 719 00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:24,520 Well, yes. 720 00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:28,000 - You can go. - He didn't find me in the garbage! 721 00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:32,200 So, tell me, as a hairdresser, what all can you do? 722 00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,120 I can do hair, beards, sideburns... 723 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,480 Of course, I can do it all. 724 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,800 - What do beards have to do with it? - I always do my own, too. 725 00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:43,080 Okay, but this is a ladies' hairdresser. 726 00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,000 What do beards have to do with it? 727 00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,240 You're saying the ladies never shave? 728 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,200 - No. - But they do. 729 00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,760 - No! - Mr. Lucio... 730 00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,920 -... if they do it! - Mais ouil! 731 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,800 Maybe they do, I don't know, but... 732 00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,040 we must never speak of it, for heaven's sake! 733 00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:00,640 Especially to my clients. 734 00:50:00,720 --> 00:50:04,040 Very chic people come here! 735 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,440 - All high people... - High mountains. 736 00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:07,760 - From the high... - South Tyrol. 737 00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:09,880 - No! - South Tyrolean. 738 00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:12,560 - Lucio, let us serve you. - No! 739 00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:16,680 - How do you say-- the nobility! - Ah! Aerostatics. 740 00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:20,640 - Aristo... cratic. - Aristocrats. 741 00:50:20,720 --> 00:50:23,360 You have to treat them with a lot of taste, 742 00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:26,640 very politely, and with a lot of tact. 743 00:50:26,720 --> 00:50:29,560 - Do you have tact? - Actually, I went out suddenly... 744 00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,680 - No, I say... are you kind in your ways? - Ah, yes, yes! 745 00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,160 I'm a "tactomaniac," if you can imagine. 746 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,080 Oh, dear, you are nice. 747 00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:41,240 I'm sure the two of us we will get along very well. 748 00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,680 - I'm afraid not. - Mais oui. 749 00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,960 Indeed... shall we do something? 750 00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:48,080 Yes. 751 00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:50,480 - Let's talk about you. - But no. 752 00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:51,880 - Do you want? - No. 753 00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:53,160 - But yes. - And you? 754 00:50:53,240 --> 00:50:55,080 - Yes, sure. - Lucio. 755 00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:57,560 - Eh? - Lucio! 756 00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,200 Tea! Yep. 757 00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,360 - Then you're hired. - But my name is not "Hiram." 758 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:07,920 No, I'm saying I'll give you a job! 759 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,040 Ah, you're hiring me! 760 00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,200 - And what's your name? - My name? Othello! 761 00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:13,920 A very masculine name. 762 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,760 No, I'm sorry. 763 00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:17,400 I'm sorry, but it doesn't work. 764 00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,400 Desdemona's husband, that of... 765 00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:23,160 Yes, but it isn't exactly suitable for this shop. 766 00:51:23,240 --> 00:51:26,280 You have to take a nom de guerre! 767 00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:27,400 Marshal. 768 00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,040 What does that have to do with anything? 769 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,000 - Marshal? - No, he's not a coiffeur. 770 00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:32,080 Ah, right. Sergeant, then! 771 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:33,560 No. 772 00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:36,400 - They are battle people, I know them! - You don't understand! 773 00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:39,040 It takes a sparkling name. 774 00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:40,720 A sparkling name? 775 00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:46,280 - Brass! With the shiny glow. - Come on, no! 776 00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,440 - Too heavy. - Brass? 777 00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:50,680 - A lighter thing. - Lighter? 778 00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,040 - Piombino! - No, it doesn't work! 779 00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:54,640 - It doesn't work! - Piombino. 780 00:51:54,720 --> 00:51:57,680 No, a crackling name! 781 00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:58,960 - Castagnole! - No. 782 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,040 - Yes! - No. 783 00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:04,040 Shut up, shut up, shut up! 784 00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,520 - I've found it! - Yes! 785 00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:08,160 Eureka! 786 00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:11,440 I'll call you... Lallo. 787 00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:13,840 Huh? 788 00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:16,000 - Lallo. - Here. 789 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:17,440 Lallo. 790 00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:20,280 - What is it? - Lallo. 791 00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,240 Yes... you don't like it? 792 00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:24,520 - Lucio. - Yes. 793 00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:27,440 Lallo seems more beautiful to you than Othello? 794 00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:30,960 Of course-- Lallo does more coiffeur! 795 00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:34,280 Don't worry, I'm going to get your gown. 796 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,480 Lallo... Lallo! 797 00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:38,600 Lallo is a gimmick. 798 00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:42,840 Listen, I recommend one thing: 799 00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:44,480 when some customer enters, 800 00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,000 you must receive her with a nice curtsy. 801 00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:51,280 And you say, "Madam, our place is at your complete disposal." 802 00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:54,760 - Take what you want. - Oh, no, don't overdo it. 803 00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,000 Put this on. No, on the other side. 804 00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,240 No, like that! 805 00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,480 Ah, in front, like a bib! 806 00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:02,720 Yeah, good. 807 00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:07,600 And then-- I don't know-- suggest some other notions for the customer. 808 00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,440 - Like, maybe, for example-- - Madam, do you want a donkey? 809 00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,160 - But no! - It's a notion. 810 00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:13,880 - But congratulations! - Ah, how are you? 811 00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:18,000 "Madam, I've never seen you so beautiful! 812 00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,440 It's been ages since I've seen such!" 813 00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,560 - "How are you?" - It's another thing I really care about. 814 00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:25,440 When the service is finished, 815 00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:28,920 you must always say: "Are you pleased, madam?" 816 00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,480 "Are you pleased, madam?" 817 00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,360 - Yes, but more cheerful. - "Are you pleased, madam?" 818 00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:34,920 Bravo! 819 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:36,920 - Do you see what I can do? - Bravo. 820 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:40,480 - I'll just leave you for a moment. - Goodbye, Lucio. 821 00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:42,760 But look what you have to do to eat! 822 00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:43,960 Lucio? Lucio? 823 00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:45,520 - Who is it? - Is Lucio there? 824 00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,520 Where's Lucio? Where's Lucio? 825 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,640 Ah, Lucio! My boss. 826 00:53:49,720 --> 00:53:51,880 - We had an appointment. - Lucio is not here, Lallo is here. 827 00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:54,200 If there is Lallo, there is Lucio. If there is Lucio, there is no Lallo. 828 00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:57,240 Very well, then! I want a light, light permanent. 829 00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:59,240 - A light perm, light perm? - Yes. 830 00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:01,360 - A feather permanent. - Feather? 831 00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:03,640 - Shall we make a nice feather? - Yes! 832 00:54:03,720 --> 00:54:06,400 Come here, now. Sit under your helmet! 833 00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:07,880 Please, light, light. 834 00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:10,240 - Then I have a little concern. - Leave it to me. 835 00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:14,600 - How long will it take? - Twenty or 25 minutes-- 10 at the most! 836 00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:17,760 - Okay, thanks. - Don't worry lady. 837 00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:19,880 All access, that's it. 838 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:23,360 Meanwhile, to kill time, want to read a little something? 839 00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:25,280 No, not that, it is The Divine Comedy. 840 00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:26,800 Here, read this. - What is it? 841 00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:28,720 A Thousand and One Nights. 842 00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:31,000 - Are you pleased, madam? - But, really... 843 00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:32,400 Leave it to us. 844 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,760 - May we come in? - Yes, come in! 845 00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:36,880 - Take a seat. - Can we enter? 846 00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,640 Take a seat. Are you pleased, sir? 847 00:54:39,720 --> 00:54:41,760 Good morning, gentlemen! 848 00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:44,160 What can we do for you? 849 00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:46,640 Our shop has everything at their complete disposal. 850 00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:49,000 All you have to do is order, we serve you in every way. 851 00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,880 - Et voila! - Here. 852 00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:53,720 - Dear. - Sorry, huh? 853 00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:57,960 - Your command, sir? - Look, my wife is too fat. 854 00:54:58,040 --> 00:54:59,600 No, no, no! 855 00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:01,320 Some things I can't hear. 856 00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:02,840 Why, that lady is too fat? 857 00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:04,880 Not even for a dream! It's a fake lean. 858 00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:06,440 It's a bit strong. 859 00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:08,840 Yes, there is no question, it will be a bit strong. 860 00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:11,680 - But she is good! - She should be half this size. 861 00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:13,960 - Half? - Good. 862 00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:15,840 - It can be done. - Anything's possible. 863 00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:17,240 We can cut her in two! 864 00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:19,480 Which one do you prefer, the one above or the one below? 865 00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:22,120 - He kids! - Yes. 866 00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:24,560 We can do anything you like. 867 00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:26,040 We have a chamber here. 868 00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,560 It's the latest discovery for losing weight-- the last word. 869 00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:31,360 It's a kind of oven. 870 00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:33,120 - Crematorium. - No. 871 00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,080 It's... Chinese. 872 00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:37,120 - It comes expressly from... - From Cremona... 873 00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,240 - From China! - From Cremonese China. 874 00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:42,680 And it makes you lose weight at a rate of 20 pounds a minute. 875 00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:47,160 Please pardon one question: How much does the lady weigh? 876 00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:49,440 - Tell the truth, huh? - How much do you weigh, dear? 877 00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:50,880 Two-twenty. 878 00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,120 - With the bone or without the bone? - But no! 879 00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:54,920 Well, let's do it with the bone apart. 880 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,120 You want to lose a hundred pounds, right? 881 00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,640 She weighs two hundred, she wants to lose one hundred. 882 00:55:59,720 --> 00:56:01,880 One-fifty the hen sings 883 00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:04,720 - Are you pleased, madam? - No, leave it. 884 00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:07,240 Let her lose as much weight as she wants. 885 00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,480 Here, then. 886 00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:11,840 One-fifty, a quarter of an hour. 887 00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:14,360 How soon can I see the results? 888 00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:15,920 Freshly cooked, in a month! 889 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,880 What are you saying! In a quarter of an hour, sir. 890 00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:20,760 A quarter of an hour of a month, I meant. 891 00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:22,400 - Ciao. - Ciao. 892 00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:24,400 Are you pleased, sir? 893 00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:26,000 We'll see. 894 00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:27,760 Thank you. 895 00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,320 - Lucio, Lucio! - Yes. 896 00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:32,960 Do you want to bake it, or should I bake it myself? 897 00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,640 - But no, you! - Goodbye, madam. 898 00:56:35,720 --> 00:56:37,560 I'll bake it! 899 00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:39,920 - Do I have to undress? - No. 900 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,920 Not now. After, maybe. Take a seat, ma'am. 901 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,040 Come. Watch your step. 902 00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:46,320 Excuse me, huh? 903 00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:47,880 Into the carriage! 904 00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:03,280 - That's it. - Good morning! 905 00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,400 Good morning, take a seat. Are you pleased, sir? 906 00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:07,000 - Pleased for what? - How should I know? 907 00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:09,720 - How can I help you? - I want a hair lightening. 908 00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:11,160 - A lightening of the hair. - Yep. 909 00:57:11,240 --> 00:57:13,280 - Yes, it can be done. - What do you recommend? 910 00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:15,360 Have you ever tried the Kel�mata herbal tea? 911 00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,480 - Have you ever tried it? - No. 912 00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,200 I was asking like this, if he had tried it. 913 00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:21,080 - No, not even for a dream. - Good. 914 00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:23,520 - Here, what do you suggest, then? - Let's see, sorry. 915 00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:26,440 I must... here! No, leave it alone. 916 00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:28,080 - But how? - You know, I'm a technician. 917 00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:31,160 Yes, it can be done. How would you like to lighten? 918 00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:32,720 - We want to do... - Shall we choose a color? 919 00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:34,760 - A nice ash! - Ash! 920 00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:37,920 Ash, charcoal? No, charcoal, no. 921 00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:41,640 - Coal. - But... no, that's too usual. 922 00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:43,600 It's too common, everyone does it. 923 00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:45,640 - Ash, no. - Maybe he's right. 924 00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:47,480 Another color. 925 00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,120 - Do I recommend it to you? - Yes. 926 00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,680 - I'm a professional. - Exactly. 927 00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:53,520 - Let's make a nice red! - Red! 928 00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:56,560 - Red! - You were born with a shirt! 929 00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:58,480 Camicione! 930 00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:02,520 - Oh, my goodness, yes, red! - Red... of San Secondo. 931 00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:04,720 No, it's strong. True? 932 00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:07,080 - A red... - We want to do a pale red? 933 00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:10,800 - A Rossellini? - A Rossellini, that's it! 934 00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:14,200 - Or a Titian red. - I scratch you! 935 00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:18,400 Oh, my goodness, red! I'll tell all my friends! 936 00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:22,040 All red! 937 00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:23,960 All red, huh? 938 00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:25,080 What is it? 939 00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:26,280 - It's a Swedish system. - Swedish? 940 00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:28,760 Everyone in Lapland, they dye their hair like this. 941 00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:30,320 - Swedish. - Of course. 942 00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:32,760 - You happen to be in good hands! - Ah, yes? 943 00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:34,720 - Stop, let me see. - Yes. 944 00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:35,800 - Here. - Stop. 945 00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:37,160 - Here. - Done. 946 00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:38,240 - Well? - Very well. 947 00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:39,320 Very well? 948 00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:41,880 Put your head down a little, please. 949 00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:43,680 - Here. - Here, like this. 950 00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:47,360 You will see, it will be a wonderful thing. 951 00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:49,680 - Here, like this. - It will be unrecognizable. 952 00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:53,000 - I took away at least 20 years. - Yes? 953 00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:56,280 I would give him 20 now... out of prison! 954 00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:58,240 Finished? 955 00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:00,200 - Stop, huh? - Yes. 956 00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:01,600 That's it, fine. 957 00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:03,880 - Great, great! - Yes! 958 00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,000 - It looks like a raspberry! - Beautiful! 959 00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:07,680 - How much is it? - Will pay tomorrow. 960 00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:09,920 So much I have to give you the second hand. 961 00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:11,640 - Are you pleased, sir? - A lot! 962 00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:13,200 - Are you pleased? - A lot! 963 00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:15,600 - Goodbye. - You're welcome. 964 00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:18,600 [speaks French] Oh, Madame Marchis. 965 00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:22,000 Good morning, sir! What a pleasure to see you! 966 00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:24,000 Please take a seat. 967 00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:27,360 Long time, no see. 968 00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:30,840 He has done us wrong, tell the truth! 969 00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,160 You are more and more beautiful, Madame Marchis. 970 00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:36,840 How may we serve you? 971 00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:40,080 [woman speaking French] 972 00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:42,600 Lallo? Lallo! 973 00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:45,680 Who is it? I was lost in thought. 974 00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:48,400 - Sorry, huh? - Are you pleased, madam? 975 00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:53,160 A massage for Mrs. Marchis. 976 00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:55,040 - Now, let's go! - But Lucio! 977 00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:58,040 - Let me be a masseuse. - Of course. 978 00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:01,080 A masseuse. 979 01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,360 - For the lady? - Yes. 980 01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:04,880 - I'll take care of it. - Lallo? 981 01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:07,720 - Yes, madam? - I'm done. 982 01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:09,720 - What? - The Thousand and One Nights! 983 01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:12,520 Oh, yeah? Then do one thing: Read these. 984 01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:15,400 - What are they? - Les Mis�rables! 985 01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,200 Are you pleased, madam? 986 01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:18,840 Shall we go? 987 01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:20,680 Take a seat. 988 01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:23,640 You're welcome, ma'am. Take a seat. 989 01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:25,760 [speaks French] 990 01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:30,360 Sir, would you enjoy a Turkish bath in the meantime? 991 01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:32,120 Great idea. 992 01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:35,600 You're welcome. 993 01:00:57,440 --> 01:00:58,640 Madame. 994 01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:00,720 Here! 995 01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:10,440 Oh, well... sorry, huh. 996 01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:32,040 Are you happy, madam? 997 01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:34,080 - [answers in French] - Yes. 998 01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:36,360 [speaks French] 999 01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:39,640 You can turn around. 1000 01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:19,480 Lucio? 1001 01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:23,000 [speaking French] 1002 01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:25,000 [speaking French] 1003 01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:27,000 Lucio? 1004 01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:30,800 Let me work! 1005 01:03:49,040 --> 01:03:50,160 Lallo! 1006 01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:53,160 - Who is it? - [speaks French] 1007 01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:55,080 And let me work! 1008 01:03:57,240 --> 01:03:58,560 Here we are. 1009 01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:00,040 See you later. 1010 01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,640 - Here I am. - What are you doing? 1011 01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:06,560 Take a seat. 1012 01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:10,320 The gentleman is back because he wants a lightening of the hair. 1013 01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:12,360 - It was yesterday. - Yes, too red. 1014 01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:14,160 Even clearer. 1015 01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:16,160 Go get Lallo. 1016 01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:19,800 I'll call Lallo and he'll clear this up for you. He'll be here right away. 1017 01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:22,320 - A little more subdued. - Lucio! 1018 01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:24,360 Lucio! 1019 01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:26,640 Just one moment. It takes patience, sir. 1020 01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:30,200 Two minutes and you'll be served. 1021 01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:33,840 - Lallo will be with you immediately. - Let's hope so! 1022 01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:39,000 - So, a nice spell huh? - Yes, a good spell. 1023 01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:41,400 You'll see, this will be my masterpiece. 1024 01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:44,720 - Thank you, I'm sure. - Look how good it looks like this. 1025 01:04:44,800 --> 01:04:46,200 Lucio! 1026 01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:47,840 - Lallo! - Ahh! 1027 01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:51,600 - Lallo! - But, Baron, she is unbearable! 1028 01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,440 And shut up five minutes! 1029 01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:56,240 - That's it. - Lallo, help! 1030 01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,480 Help, Lallo! 1031 01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:00,880 - Lallo, help! - What's the matter? 1032 01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:04,800 Calm lady, calm down! Be calm! 1033 01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:20,040 Calm down! Everybody remain calm! 1034 01:05:30,280 --> 01:05:32,920 - Lucio. - Mr. Baron, please! 1035 01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:35,760 A little understanding-- and shut up a moment! 1036 01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:37,280 And shut up! 1037 01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:38,480 Wow! 1038 01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:40,120 Huh? They too? 1039 01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:43,880 Want a lightening? 1040 01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:45,760 What happened? 1041 01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:50,320 Lallo, what have you done? 1042 01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:56,560 - Sir, what do you want? - My wife. 1043 01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:59,040 I came to pick up my wife. 1044 01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:00,920 - To pick up his wife? - Which wife? 1045 01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:02,800 I don't know... 1046 01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:05,320 Ah, yes. 1047 01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:08,200 Now I remember, we had forgotten. 1048 01:06:23,600 --> 01:06:25,000 - My husband! - Maria! 1049 01:06:25,080 --> 01:06:28,880 - Here she is. - Have I reduced enough? 1050 01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:30,040 Maria! 1051 01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:36,320 Are you pleased, sir? 1052 01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:37,960 But look how much she's lost! 1053 01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:40,240 Here he is! And that one! Arrest them! 1054 01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:55,360 The first show is over. 1055 01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:57,280 The audience departs. 1056 01:07:57,360 --> 01:08:00,080 Meanwhile, at Luna Park, the lights come on 1057 01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:03,600 and the rides begin to turn 1058 01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:07,120 in anticipation of a festive evening. 1059 01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:20,480 Beyond the tents, the whole company, 1060 01:08:20,560 --> 01:08:24,200 the big circus family gathers as if for a sacred rite. 1061 01:08:43,320 --> 01:08:45,840 We thank you, our Great Protector... 1062 01:08:46,680 --> 01:08:50,840 for giving us this day the strength to perform the greatest show on earth. 1063 01:08:52,160 --> 01:08:55,760 You who protect men, animals, and sideshows... 1064 01:08:56,760 --> 01:08:58,880 you who make lions docile as men 1065 01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:01,880 and men brave like lions, 1066 01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:06,960 you who every night lends acrobats the wings of angels... 1067 01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:12,440 and gives us our fill of bread and applause... 1068 01:09:13,120 --> 01:09:15,120 we ask you for protection. 1069 01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:19,520 But if we are not found worthy-- if any misfortune should befall us-- 1070 01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:21,640 please let it happen after the show. 1071 01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:27,360 And in any case, remember to save the beasts and the children first. 1072 01:09:28,200 --> 01:09:32,160 You who lift the dwarves and the giants to equal heights, 1073 01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:37,280 you who are the only sure safety net to preserve us from every harm, 1074 01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:42,080 may it please you that we never miss our tent, 1075 01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:44,760 our ring, or our net. 1076 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,840 May the nails of our women 1077 01:09:47,920 --> 01:09:50,480 protect and defend as well as those of the tigers who watch us. 1078 01:09:51,320 --> 01:09:54,480 Give us the strength to make men laugh, 1079 01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:58,480 to bear peacefully their deafening laughter, 1080 01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:02,520 and let them believe we too are happy. 1081 01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:06,520 The more I want to weep, the more they want to laugh. 1082 01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:09,120 But it doesn't matter. I forgive them, 1083 01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:11,960 partly because they do not know, partly for your sake, 1084 01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:14,720 and partly because they paid for their tickets. 1085 01:10:14,800 --> 01:10:18,680 If my antics help them forget their cares and sorrows, 1086 01:10:18,760 --> 01:10:21,720 then by all means make my face even more ridiculous. 1087 01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:24,800 But help me carry this face with ease. 1088 01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:30,240 There are those who delight in making humanity weep, 1089 01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:33,000 but we would suffer to gladden the human heart. 1090 01:10:33,080 --> 01:10:38,160 Send someone into the world who can make me laugh 1091 01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:40,600 the same way I bring laughter to others. 1092 01:10:40,680 --> 01:10:45,120 And the greatest show on earth begins all over again! 1093 01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:27,800 THE END 1094 01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:19,600 THE FUNNIEST SHOW ON EARTH 1095 01:12:28,600 --> 01:12:31,880 English subtitles by Stereophilus 1096 01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:38,880 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com